How we communicate with others really shows the self work we have done to be true with who we choose to be. When we speak out we are trying to constantly prove to others how damn smart we are and how we know “right.” When we speak up we are listening to others so we can ask powerful questions to help them on their journey.
As the Dalia Lama said, “I am the most selfish person in the world because I am constantly trying to make others happy. By doing this I know I am selfishly making myself happy in the end.” That is the essence of speaking up. When you listen intently and try to help others they actually want to help you reach a goal and stand by your side.
How do you want to show up to a meeting or conversation? Do you want to be the needy know it all that forces his way to get what he wants? Or do yo want to show up powerfully to be the change you want to see in your life?
Showing up powerfully means you are ready to listen, ask empowering questions and work towards a common solution instead of a demanding barricade. As a leader, team mate or family member it is important to always remember we are constantly modeling to those around us how they should show up in every situation. So when we show up powerfully and actually engage deeply with those around us we stop playing the bull shit water cooler game.
Now, if you want to stay on the surface that is completely up to you but that means I am not for you so you should unsubscribe or unfollow or unfriend this guy. All good, im not here for everyone, I am here for those select few men that are driven, passionate, service oriented and depth seeking that want to create a huge impact in business and in life. So those men know that showing up powerfully is the key to successful communication. And the old way is out dated and frankly was full of shit to begin with. No more snapping the whip and deadlines or else. That is not a team, that is a dictatorship.
Here are 3 tools to use to show up powerfully and speak up.
1) Active Listening – Make it your mission to listen to them so intently that they feel genuinely heard and seen. They will run through walls for you.
2) Tactical Silence – Use silence as a tool to go deeper and when you think you need to tell them how to do it, give the uncomfortable silence a little more space. They will start to see the change and articulate it themselves.
3) Detachment – Do not be so stuck on what you think needs to happen or how you are perceived. Have the stomach to trust yourself and be ok not being correct or having the perfect solution.
To finish up let’s make this tangible.
What was most useful for you here?
And how can you take 1 micro action to implement this insight into your life?
